Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Too young?

5. What is something you feel too young to do?

What a tough question. I have been giving it a lot of thought & of course the first thing that springs to mind is that I am too young to die.

Another thing that I feel I am too young for is for my body to be giving up defying gravity. I really feel that in the last 6 months my body seems to have decided it is time to give in fighting gravity & just go with it. Why now? I am not that old surely, I'm only 37, that's not old. But if I stop & think about it in 10 years time I will be approaching 50 what a truely scarey thought. I used to think that 40 was old but now that I am nearly there it seems too young to leave my children with no mother & too young for my body to begin sagging.

I suppose time is catching up with me & I now have to go with this new state of affairs. I have to accept that no matter how much I go to the gym, how much exercise I do my body will never look like it did 10 or 11 years ago when it was a truely fine form. It was toned & taught & it defied gravity. It's sad to think that really there was only a few months when I was really happy with the state my body was in back then, & I really didn't appreciate it. It took a heck of a lot of hard work & discipline to get there, but even if I were to do the same thing today, I really don't think my body will ever get back to that shape.

This year seems to be calling on me to accept some personal changes & I have to find a way to change my thinking towards my body. I have to start loving me, no matter what I look like & no matter how much gravity pulls on my body & middle age starts adding a band of fat that never was there before.

Am I too young to be thinking like this? No, this is a lesson that I should have learnt a long time ago. Be thankful for what you have because nothing is ever constant, life is about change, embrace it!

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